You won’t be missed
Funny how things conspire to make you realize certain truths about your life. But perhaps the irony in it is the fact that you knew it was coming, you saw it was coming and yet you did nothing. Now that everything has been said and done, albeit not explicitly but nonetheless in a very convincing manner, what is left to do?Nothing. Zip. Zero. Nada. You don’t need to do anything now, just sit back and reflect on the whys and the hows, but to do something about it – with the state of the people around you? I’m a hundred percent sure that nothing’s gonna come out of it. Well, perhaps a few jeers here and there, and perhaps hushed whispers, but you’re desired effect – nah. What you’ll only get ain’t compassion nor understanding, what you’ll get are more questions based on more gossip or more secrets that supposedly only you and these people know.
It is painful isn’t it? To realize that all those times you thought you meant something to them. To feel important, to feel welcome, to feel loved. But I do guess that’s how things really are. That’s how the world works. Once your utility is over you get thrown about like trash. Once they don’t need anything from you, you sure you’re nothing but a mere contact in their phone books.
I guess this is karma, or perhaps God’s way of saying that life ain’t perfect. That people who use you really do exist. That fake, conniving, laugh-behind-your-back, and pretentious friends are there (yes, you never learn, you really do never learn). And that no matter what you did for them, what you’ve gone through because of them you are simply a chapter in their lives that they’re glad to be done and over with.
For a long time you heard from them that you were something to them, but after everything’s done you realize that amidst the rush and the revelry of you’re so called friends – you won’t be missed.
I realized now that I won’t be missed by these people. That they won’t look for me, that I can disappear and no one would care. But the funny thing is, and perhaps call it foolhardy but I’m still here for you guys. Whatever you need, I’ll try to do, but here’s the catch, I’m glad to be of service to you guys but I won’t miss you either. Cause now, I am saying good-bye to my old world. You told me, no, you showed me that you don’t care about me, that’s fine and I should even thank you for it. Now I know who I am and what I am to you. And I’m making sure that you become just small parts of my life now.
And I’m telling you, you won’t be missed.
posted by JaY @ 11/27/2006 08:50:00 AM
Comments: 4
