Going against all reason
(lyrics are lifted from APO Hiking society's Tuyo nang Damdamin)Minsan kahit na pilitin mong uminit ang damdamin, di sya susunod at di maglalambing.
Minsan di mo na mapigil na mapansin na talagang wala nang naiiwan na pagmamahal
Why is it that the hardest part of forgiving and forgetting is that of letting go, of letting go of all the pent-up emotions, of hidden desires and agenda, of secret fancies, of wishful thinking? Is it because we are afraid to get rid of our stability? Afraid of leaving the past that we have grown so accustomed to?
At one point in our lives we have said our goodbyes. In elementary, in high school, in college, with our friends, with relatives, good-byes have long been part of our world yet it never feels the same when we experience it for the umpteenth time. Every good-bye has its own story, its own conditions, its own worth. Good byes are so different that we are never prepared for it, most especially when it comes unexpected, but what if it was indeed expected. That the good-bye was long planned for and long awaited? Do we feel less emotional?
At kahit na anong gawin, di mo na mapilit at madaya
Aminin sa sarili mo na wala ka nang mabubuga
I don’t think so. Good-byes can never be prepared in advance. No matter how well you plan it, when you actually do it, all the emotions will come rushing to you like a torrent of flood that you can’t get out of. Some may fight the current, some may swim along side it, letting themselves be carried away by all the emotions they truly feel.
But then, what if the good-bye you’re long planning for is just for yourself. A good-bye that only you know and the person that you are saying good-bye to doesn’t have the slightest idea that you are saying good-bye to him or to her? Does that make any difference at all? Or are we simply fooling ourselves, letting us believe that we have done our part and magically everything will turn out the way we planned it to be? A one-way good-bye is something so unreasonable and surreal that it doesn’t fulfill all the reasons of a good-bye. It does not speak of the emotions of a true good-bye.
Parang ‘sang kandila na nagdadala ng ilaw at liwanag nauubos rin sa magdamag
Then again, everyone says good-bye for a reason. A parent says good-bye to a child to work overseas to build a better future for his family. A child says good-bye to his parent when he goes to college. A friend says good-bye to a friend when they go their separate ways. A dependent says good-bye to his addiction to right his path. Every good-bye has its own reason and sometimes, even if it’s the weirdest thing to do, even if it’s the most irrational way for a relationship, sometimes, it really is the best thing for the person involved.
At kahit na anong gawin, di mo na mapilit at madaya
Aminin sa sarili mo na wala ka nang mabubuga
Even if that good-bye goes against all reason, it may be the only thing that makes a person whole again, the only thing that restores himself, even if little by little, bit by bit. That good-bye may be against all reason, but that good-bye may be the only thing he has left.
Bihira madaig o mabalik ang dating matamis na kahapon,
Pilit may tuyo na ang damdamin
And when one fights for what is left of him, then no reason is needed at all.
posted by JaY @ 12/25/2006 08:34:00 PM
Comments: 3
