vis-a-vis
A lot of people have commented that I only write weird, sad and idiosyncratic entries. And for the past five or six serious entries (discounting my work entry) it all seems to be revolving on the same theme – failure, sadness, and depression.Why then do I write these entries? Well, for the longest time I’ve learned that the best way to control stress and depression is by writing them down. Even though some may have been fictional, most of the time the entries are based on real-life experiences; on true hurts and pains. And really, one of the very few times I feel the urge to write is when I go through these stages. Also, instead of me shouting it out to another person, a written piece of work serves a three-fold purpose for me.
1. I get to edit what I’m going to say (even though most of the time I write directly what I feel at that moment, I still do reread the post before posting it) as such I don’t get to hurt the people who I’m ‘angry’ with. This was a lesson learned the hardest way possible. A mere slip of the tongue on an emotional issue can ruin a friendship forever. While an anonymous post (anonymous being the fact that the reader doesn’t know who I am referring to) can only hurt guilty parties who believe that they are the one I am talking about (its their fault then, isn’t it?)
2. It enjoins those who might get affected by the post to take action to a similar situation that they may be facing. The post maybe a wake-up call or maybe a reminder to some people that they have friends that go through rough times and it’ll be a lot better not to wait for them but to offer your hand first.
3. “Payback’s a bitch”. I never got to remember who ever wrote or said that but by writing I get to concretize the emotions I truly felt and help me learn from them. And to be able to learn from them means that the same kind of shit hopefully won’t happen to me again. And don’t worry, I don’t go for payback, instead I rely on good old karma.
So as you can see for all my avid reader(s – hopefully there are..) out there please do not think for one moment that I am a depressed person or a cynical and hurtful one. I am just one person struggling to get by this weird life of mine; a person who just happens to have his muse only when everything seems to be at their darkest.
Perhaps because it is only then that I really get to appreciate the beauty of the true stars around me.
posted by JaY @ 1/10/2007 12:15:00 PM
Comments: 0
